Stumbling into Grace

Thoughts on sailing, drifting, and not drowning (and a bit about the titanic)

2009-05-31T10:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not the sailing type. In fact I've never been on a sail boat, unless you count playing on my friend's sail boat in the drive way when we were kids. I have driven a boat before, but that's not really where I'm heading with this. A few weeks ago I found myself in a conversation with four other single people laughing over the "misery" of our single status. In reality I don't think misery is the

To the San Francisco State University Graduates of 2009

2009-05-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

I am so proud of your incredible accomplishment. You are a college graduate. More specifically you are a graduate of San Francisco State University. Many may not be impressed by your school's prestige (or lack there of), but never let that shadow, what you know to be true. You may not be graduating from an Ivy League, heck or even a UC school, but you are graduating with experience, knowledge,

The weight of the world is pretty freakin' heavy

2009-05-15T21:09:00.001-07:00

Chaim Potok, in his books The Chosen, and The Promise, broaches the subject of carrying the burdens of other people. He does this through his fictional depiction of certain Hasidim Jewish sects that settled in Brooklyn, NY in the years following the Holocaust. He describes it in such a vivid way, that at times, I too, carried the weight of the characters. If I were a more motivated person I would

Gender Roles in Children's lit (and other thoughts around it)

2009-01-10T10:26:00.000-08:00

I was minding my own business, and thinking about nothing overly stimulating this morning as I read through my google reader feeds. That is, until I read Janelle Paris' blog about the thoughts she encountered while her boys sung Yankee Doodle. My thoughts of chocolate macaroons (there's a box of them in the office I'm in), and what word would get me the most points in the current scrabble game

New year, New questions

2009-01-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

Something has been simmering in the back of my mind for a few months. As it seems to be bubbling over into my comments I leave on other blogs I suppose I should make mention of it here. Over the past couple of years I seem to have acquired a group of teenagers. To a few of them I am known by their friends as "the friend who cares." To others, I'm the house parent that gets way too excited about

Year-end thoughts

2008-12-31T19:51:00.000-08:00

As a writer (in my own way), I can’t help but try and put some year-end thoughts down on paper. This year could write a book by itself. I’ve traveled more than 30 thousand miles in my little yellow beetle, and if only I could quantify the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual journeys 2008 has taken me on, I’m sure it would amount to a number greater than the miles my odometer states in my car.

ramblings from your daughter across the ocean

2008-12-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

This morning I read a facebook note by a teen that I had the opportunity to work with this summer. Tomorrow, the 23rd is the 11th anniversary of his father's death. 44 years young, just a year younger than my dad currently is. He states, "All I know, is that life is pathetically short." I don't know if this is what finally tipped my need to get in contact with my dad, but it struck something

What's your focus?

2008-12-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

“In my thinking, church doesn’t exist for the benefit of its members. It exists to equip it’s members for the benefit of the world.” -Brian McLaren, A New Kind of Christian This quote might just incapsulate my greatest struggle with the church right now. Sadly, it is not my only frustration – but a big one. The thing is,

election night

2008-11-04T23:17:00.000-08:00

I will post more at a more reasonable time, because 6am comes too fast and I do need to sleep at some point in the very near future. Tonight was a moment in history that no one can take back. America has elected an African American as their president. The words he spoke were beautiful and awe inspiring. I hope even those who did not choose to vote for him, could hear the passion and drive he has

Church buildings

2008-10-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

From the pages of my journal 10/29/08When I was a young child, about five or six, my mom allowed my neighbors fro across the street to take me to church with them. It wasn't too far, maybe two or three blocks. It was a big, old Methodist church, at least that's how I remember it. For all I know it could have been small and quaint. I have fond memories that almost feel like dreams now, of playing

The love experiement

2008-10-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

This week I joined the love-daily experiment facebook group that fellow blogger Missio Dei is conducting with his emergent cohort (sort of like a Christian small group, or for those InterVarsity readers, an intense GIG) over in Sac-town. The task is simple in words, but in practice can be hard to execute. The idea is to "commit to not going to bed for the day until we intentionally loved our

a quick thought on pain

2008-10-25T23:23:00.001-07:00

Life hurts sometimes. It just does. We have found so many ways to try and escape the pain, to avoid the inevitable sting it brings. We wreathe beneath its weight, wishing to be numb. Yet when numbness comes we long to feel again. A part of our soul breaks, I think, when we pull away, and avoid our pain. So often we long to feel only the goodness of life, the joy, the hope, the love, the kindness.

A confession

2008-10-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget that Jesus actually lived.I know that's a pretty basic concept in all that is Christianity, but honestly to slips my mind. I'm not sure it has more to do with always acknowledging that Jesus was much more than just a man, or if it was the plain old miraculousness of his life, or just the sad reality that there is this underlying perception in my surrounding culture that maybe

My Sunday experience part 1

2008-10-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I've dreading going to church lately. In fact this past Sunday, after a two week hiatus (it might have been three), I finally forced myself to go to church. I went to a church I used to attend a couple years ago, and found a seat up in the balcony. I'm not sure how other churches with balconies operate, but the only reasons I find to sit in the balcony is because your: a) running late

Still alive and thinking

2008-10-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

... Just having a difficult time getting those thoughts onto paper.

You chose to be Christian?

2008-09-20T00:44:00.000-07:00

Not too many hours ago I was sitting in my kitchen of my job that I'm about to leave (which I chose not to), playing cards with a co-worker. The topic of High School extra curricular activities came up. After rambling off everything that didn't have to do with church (mostly because I'm afraid to be overbearing in my faith) I finally mumbled, "and then after I became a Christian I got pretty

Being

2008-09-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

I am a human doingI am a human didI am a human going to doI struggle with beingBeing implies that I simply am. Being does not allow me to impress you or anyone with what I can do, or disappoint with what I can't.You know what I think? I think God let us call ourselves human beings for that exact reason. We can't do anything but be to be loved by Him.I wonder though, where does love come into it?

Sometimes easy isn't easy

2008-09-18T12:23:00.003-07:00

Today, I turned in my resignation in a job that I just started. To me it sounds thoughtless and irresponsible, and I suppose in a way it is. In this moment I feel awful and afraid. Awful because I have let people down, afraid because I might have made the wrong decision.Scared because all of a sudden the bottom has dropped out beneath me. Suddenly I know exactly where my God is, and I have been

bobbers

2008-09-18T12:23:00.001-07:00

There were really only two kind of days of the week I did not like lifeguarding this summer. The first was clearly the last shift. The last shift of the week meant cleaning the bath/changing rooms. It wasn't even so much of cleaning than it was keeping others on task so you didn't end up doing it all yourself. The second type of day was the first day of the camp session. While the first day had

Home to the fog... and a bit about gravy

2008-09-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

I suppose it would have been wise to at least mention that I was going to be without regular internet access nor have sufficient time to truly sit down and write something meaningful this summer. However like many wise thoughts I have, they tend to get lost somewhere between my mind and my mouth (in this case my fingers).So where have I been? Well I've been in Michigan working at the same summer

Belated thoughts on Mother's Day

2008-05-13T11:19:00.001-07:00

I'm thankful that I can look and my mom and know that she is an amazing woman. I can see her for all the sacrifices she made for me, the knowledge she passed along, and the love that continues to show me in her own way. I haven't always been able to do that. I have often focused on the pains in our relationship. More often than not, I have overlooked the times that she went above and beyond to

love and commitment

2008-05-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

(wrote this 4/29/08)I went for a walk on the bluffs of Pacifica this past Friday. I didn't particularily want to spend all that much time by myself but I was bound and determined to get a nice hike in. Honestly though, it was probably best that I had a bit of time to reflect and just enjoy the awe inspiring wonder of Northern California. As I listened to Matisyahu (my favorite Hassidic Jewish

Quick update

2008-05-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

I'll probably continue my little journey of my thoughts on women in ministry at a later date. I was feeling a little pressured to come up with a well thought out analytical paper on the subject, and that pressure made it really hard just to write my thoughts down. Not to mention, I had a few things I wanted to write about, but I hate leaving things half done. All that said, I'm shifting gears a

Women in leadership (part 2)

2008-05-07T11:12:00.000-07:00

I might have intended to go in a different direction with what I posted yesterday, but I had ended up having an interesting conversation with a friend of mine last night.I'm wondering if some women even recogize that in their church they might not be considered for certain leadership roles, not because they don't have the aproppriate giftings or skills but merely because they are a woman?A friend

women in leadership (most likely part 1)

2008-05-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

Google Reader is a Godsend. Just thought I should start out with that, because had I not finally given into trying it out, I may never have found a community of bloggers that think and write about the things I have such a hard time putting into words.Yesterday I found Janell Paris' blog discussing her thoughts on women in leadership in the emerging church discussion. Well that's my very broad