Stumbling into Grace

One year

2011-08-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

One year ago from today, I was moving into my new apartment in Minnesota. I had emptied the contents of my beetle and discovered that all of the belongings I brought with me from California fit into my closet (which was good, because my room wasn't much larger than that anyway). After almost a year of battling the most difficult case of culture shock I've ever had (and I've made some big moves

a focus of longing and the image of fulfillment

2011-08-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

In search of some information on the National Endowment of the Arts, I ran across this quote: "The orgasm has replaced the cross as the focus of longing and the image of fulfillment." -Malcolm Muggeridge Clearly, this quote had no relevance to my search, but it caught my eye non the less. I know very little about Malcolm Muggeridge, other than knowing his profession as a journalist and writer in

He's going to be ok, right?

2011-08-12T09:53:00.001-07:00

This week, a teen that grew up at the church I work at went into cardiac arrest while playing disc golf with his friends. His heart stopped multiple times before he got to the hospital and is now hanging on to his life through prayer and well trained medical professionals who are working to keep him stable enough to find out what's causing the problems with his heart. Though he and his family no

Thin People

2011-08-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

This is not a post about what you think it might be...Over the past two months I've been meeting with a small group of people affiliated with the MacLaurin Institute at the University of Minnesota, to discuss N.T. Wright's book "Surprised by Hope - Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection and the mission of the Church." Let me say, if you're not interested in being challenged in at least one or two

Perspective

2011-07-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

I logged onto blogger this morning to write some thoughts about... things that just don't matter as much after reading the blog of a woman who was part of my intervarsity group back in college. Back in the beginning of April, I got an email from a mutual friend letting us know that Patty had been diagnosed with acute Lymphatic Leukemia. The cancer was caught while she was in Los Angeles attending

Preparing for a heat wave...

2011-07-16T16:06:00.000-07:00

I think I'm finally getting this whole heat wave thing down. I've never lived in a climate that A/C was particularly necessary. Though it isn't entirely necessary here in St. Paul, there are a few weeks out of the summer that A/C would be really really nice. This weekend is turing out to be one of them. Once the heat index is up in the 90's it's pretty unbearable in my apartment, or outside, or

humility

2011-07-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I lacked humility and was gently reminded of the consequences.In a conversation with my friend who also happens to functionally be my boss I revealed the sad reality of part of my personality... my pride. Not only was it pride, it was the ugliest form of pride. It was the type of pride that revealed my thoughts of self righteousness at the detriment of those who I am in community with.

Why I choose to belong in Church Community

2011-06-04T08:38:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago I responded in a blog conversation with a fellow young adult who was exploring what he felt were reasons young adults are so disengaged with the church these days. This was one of my responses. For the full blog conversation go here. I confess, my attachment to the church has much more personal than theological and Biblical roots. However, there is clearly

Mind dump (thoughts on living without a father)

2011-02-25T08:30:00.001-08:00

I have a midterm paper to write, and therefore all I can think to write about is slightly irrelevant to what I need to write. Here's what's on my mind. Growing up without a consistent father figure. I know there's been a huge push by Obama to address the "fatherlessness" in the U.S. I love that he's put a collation together and put effort into supporting those with creative ideas for providing

Advent Musings

2010-12-19T16:27:00.000-08:00

Stretched across timeReading from the pastLiving in the presentDreaming of the futureExcitement AnticipationHopeAdventThe season of Advent just caught me in its graspThe waiting of it allThe anticipationThe hopeThe fear mixed with excitement of the past becoming present, giving birth to the futureProphets proclaimed itHe shall be Emmanuel!God with usAnd it was soThe past brought present and into

I keep meaning to post...

2010-05-19T09:13:00.001-07:00

...but I haven't been able to finish a coherent thought about the past 6 months. So here's the important bits, and perhaps something a bit more deep and introspective will follow. I'm moving to Minnesota this fall for Grad School. It's cold there so I bought some new jackets.I'm leaving my current job and home in a month, and I don't really have solid plans for the summer.

2010-02-20T09:55:00.000-08:00

Early morningsWarm teaThe quiet patter and rush of a near waking world

Take Joy

2010-02-19T19:52:00.000-08:00

In the laughter and tearsIn the rest and toilTake joyIn the peace of a newbornIn the giggles of a young childTake Joy In passionate prayersand a shared journeyTake joy In faithIn friendship In familyTake joy In any way you canfind show share give receive lovethose who surround youIn joy

The prospect of moving

2009-11-14T15:20:00.000-08:00

It is likely that I will be leaving San Francisco, my home of more than six years, in pursuit of further education. Though, cold and flat, Minneapolis, MN has one of the best programs for Youth Development at a Masters level. I spent the better part of this past week on the campus of the University of Minnesota speaking with professors, grad students, and other connected organization. I was

Thoughts on sailing, drifting, and not drowning (and a bit about the titanic)

2009-05-31T10:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not the sailing type. In fact I've never been on a sail boat, unless you count playing on my friend's sail boat in the drive way when we were kids. I have driven a boat before, but that's not really where I'm heading with this. A few weeks ago I found myself in a conversation with four other single people laughing over the "misery" of our single status. In reality I don't think misery is the

To the San Francisco State University Graduates of 2009

2009-05-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

I am so proud of your incredible accomplishment. You are a college graduate. More specifically you are a graduate of San Francisco State University. Many may not be impressed by your school's prestige (or lack there of), but never let that shadow, what you know to be true. You may not be graduating from an Ivy League, heck or even a UC school, but you are graduating with experience, knowledge,

The weight of the world is pretty freakin' heavy

2009-05-15T21:09:00.001-07:00

Chaim Potok, in his books The Chosen, and The Promise, broaches the subject of carrying the burdens of other people. He does this through his fictional depiction of certain Hasidim Jewish sects that settled in Brooklyn, NY in the years following the Holocaust. He describes it in such a vivid way, that at times, I too, carried the weight of the characters. If I were a more motivated person I would

Gender Roles in Children's lit (and other thoughts around it)

2009-01-10T10:26:00.000-08:00

I was minding my own business, and thinking about nothing overly stimulating this morning as I read through my google reader feeds. That is, until I read Janelle Paris' blog about the thoughts she encountered while her boys sung Yankee Doodle. My thoughts of chocolate macaroons (there's a box of them in the office I'm in), and what word would get me the most points in the current scrabble game

New year, New questions

2009-01-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

Something has been simmering in the back of my mind for a few months. As it seems to be bubbling over into my comments I leave on other blogs I suppose I should make mention of it here. Over the past couple of years I seem to have acquired a group of teenagers. To a few of them I am known by their friends as "the friend who cares." To others, I'm the house parent that gets way too excited about

Year-end thoughts

2008-12-31T19:51:00.000-08:00

As a writer (in my own way), I can’t help but try and put some year-end thoughts down on paper. This year could write a book by itself. I’ve traveled more than 30 thousand miles in my little yellow beetle, and if only I could quantify the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual journeys 2008 has taken me on, I’m sure it would amount to a number greater than the miles my odometer states in my car.

ramblings from your daughter across the ocean

2008-12-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

This morning I read a facebook note by a teen that I had the opportunity to work with this summer. Tomorrow, the 23rd is the 11th anniversary of his father's death. 44 years young, just a year younger than my dad currently is. He states, "All I know, is that life is pathetically short." I don't know if this is what finally tipped my need to get in contact with my dad, but it struck something

What's your focus?

2008-12-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

“In my thinking, church doesn’t exist for the benefit of its members. It exists to equip it’s members for the benefit of the world.” -Brian McLaren, A New Kind of Christian This quote might just incapsulate my greatest struggle with the church right now. Sadly, it is not my only frustration – but a big one. The thing is,

election night

2008-11-04T23:17:00.000-08:00

I will post more at a more reasonable time, because 6am comes too fast and I do need to sleep at some point in the very near future. Tonight was a moment in history that no one can take back. America has elected an African American as their president. The words he spoke were beautiful and awe inspiring. I hope even those who did not choose to vote for him, could hear the passion and drive he has

Church buildings

2008-10-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

From the pages of my journal 10/29/08When I was a young child, about five or six, my mom allowed my neighbors fro across the street to take me to church with them. It wasn't too far, maybe two or three blocks. It was a big, old Methodist church, at least that's how I remember it. For all I know it could have been small and quaint. I have fond memories that almost feel like dreams now, of playing

The love experiement

2008-10-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

This week I joined the love-daily experiment facebook group that fellow blogger Missio Dei is conducting with his emergent cohort (sort of like a Christian small group, or for those InterVarsity readers, an intense GIG) over in Sac-town. The task is simple in words, but in practice can be hard to execute. The idea is to "commit to not going to bed for the day until we intentionally loved our

a quick thought on pain

2008-10-25T23:23:00.001-07:00

Life hurts sometimes. It just does. We have found so many ways to try and escape the pain, to avoid the inevitable sting it brings. We wreathe beneath its weight, wishing to be numb. Yet when numbness comes we long to feel again. A part of our soul breaks, I think, when we pull away, and avoid our pain. So often we long to feel only the goodness of life, the joy, the hope, the love, the kindness.

A confession

2008-10-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget that Jesus actually lived.I know that's a pretty basic concept in all that is Christianity, but honestly to slips my mind. I'm not sure it has more to do with always acknowledging that Jesus was much more than just a man, or if it was the plain old miraculousness of his life, or just the sad reality that there is this underlying perception in my surrounding culture that maybe

My Sunday experience part 1

2008-10-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I've dreading going to church lately. In fact this past Sunday, after a two week hiatus (it might have been three), I finally forced myself to go to church. I went to a church I used to attend a couple years ago, and found a seat up in the balcony. I'm not sure how other churches with balconies operate, but the only reasons I find to sit in the balcony is because your: a) running late

Still alive and thinking

2008-10-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

... Just having a difficult time getting those thoughts onto paper.

You chose to be Christian?

2008-09-20T00:44:00.000-07:00

Not too many hours ago I was sitting in my kitchen of my job that I'm about to leave (which I chose not to), playing cards with a co-worker. The topic of High School extra curricular activities came up. After rambling off everything that didn't have to do with church (mostly because I'm afraid to be overbearing in my faith) I finally mumbled, "and then after I became a Christian I got pretty

Being

2008-09-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

I am a human doingI am a human didI am a human going to doI struggle with beingBeing implies that I simply am. Being does not allow me to impress you or anyone with what I can do, or disappoint with what I can't.You know what I think? I think God let us call ourselves human beings for that exact reason. We can't do anything but be to be loved by Him.I wonder though, where does love come into it?

Sometimes easy isn't easy

2008-09-18T12:23:00.003-07:00

Today, I turned in my resignation in a job that I just started. To me it sounds thoughtless and irresponsible, and I suppose in a way it is. In this moment I feel awful and afraid. Awful because I have let people down, afraid because I might have made the wrong decision.Scared because all of a sudden the bottom has dropped out beneath me. Suddenly I know exactly where my God is, and I have been

bobbers

2008-09-18T12:23:00.001-07:00

There were really only two kind of days of the week I did not like lifeguarding this summer. The first was clearly the last shift. The last shift of the week meant cleaning the bath/changing rooms. It wasn't even so much of cleaning than it was keeping others on task so you didn't end up doing it all yourself. The second type of day was the first day of the camp session. While the first day had

Home to the fog... and a bit about gravy

2008-09-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

I suppose it would have been wise to at least mention that I was going to be without regular internet access nor have sufficient time to truly sit down and write something meaningful this summer. However like many wise thoughts I have, they tend to get lost somewhere between my mind and my mouth (in this case my fingers).So where have I been? Well I've been in Michigan working at the same summer

Belated thoughts on Mother's Day

2008-05-13T11:19:00.001-07:00

I'm thankful that I can look and my mom and know that she is an amazing woman. I can see her for all the sacrifices she made for me, the knowledge she passed along, and the love that continues to show me in her own way. I haven't always been able to do that. I have often focused on the pains in our relationship. More often than not, I have overlooked the times that she went above and beyond to

love and commitment

2008-05-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

(wrote this 4/29/08)I went for a walk on the bluffs of Pacifica this past Friday. I didn't particularily want to spend all that much time by myself but I was bound and determined to get a nice hike in. Honestly though, it was probably best that I had a bit of time to reflect and just enjoy the awe inspiring wonder of Northern California. As I listened to Matisyahu (my favorite Hassidic Jewish

Quick update

2008-05-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

I'll probably continue my little journey of my thoughts on women in ministry at a later date. I was feeling a little pressured to come up with a well thought out analytical paper on the subject, and that pressure made it really hard just to write my thoughts down. Not to mention, I had a few things I wanted to write about, but I hate leaving things half done. All that said, I'm shifting gears a

Women in leadership (part 2)

2008-05-07T11:12:00.000-07:00

I might have intended to go in a different direction with what I posted yesterday, but I had ended up having an interesting conversation with a friend of mine last night.I'm wondering if some women even recogize that in their church they might not be considered for certain leadership roles, not because they don't have the aproppriate giftings or skills but merely because they are a woman?A friend

women in leadership (most likely part 1)

2008-05-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

Google Reader is a Godsend. Just thought I should start out with that, because had I not finally given into trying it out, I may never have found a community of bloggers that think and write about the things I have such a hard time putting into words.Yesterday I found Janell Paris' blog discussing her thoughts on women in leadership in the emerging church discussion. Well that's my very broad

I'm swimming inside of my head

2008-05-05T15:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't really had a chance to verbally process all the thoughts that are going through my head, so it might be unwise to simply flush them out in the form of a blog at this present time. So I'm going to attempt to breifly throw a few things on to paper (so to speak), with the hope that I can write more on them later.So far I blame Google Reader, Brian McLaren, my friend Matt, and my break up

Yesterday I prayed and the list of decisions

2008-05-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

Back in October, the 29th to be precise I posted in my xanga "Yesterday I prayed.... and now I'm confused."I can't remember exactly what I prayed about but it must have got me thinking because all of a sudden I decided that I wanted to go to Michigan in December and visit camp (I'm sure it's in one of my journals). This must have been my rash decision I made near the end of the year which

Dating the church

2008-04-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

Just a quick thoughtIn my process of finding a church I have thrown out the term "church shopping" and replaced it with "dating the church." This came about as I was thinking about the heartache I am left with from my most recent past church. It didn't feel like I had merely lost a pair of my favorite pants, or even a sentimental object of my past. I lost a relationship with a community that I

The orange light of death

2008-04-24T23:12:00.000-07:00

To break up the seriousness and lack of silliness on this here blog, I have come to tell you that my car is sick! *sigh*An orange light of death turned on as I exited Peet's coffee this morning. Yes, orange, the light was orange! How twisted is that? When I realized that the light didn't turn off I went for my car manual to try and figure out what this little picture was all about. Turns out it's

Waiting at a red light

2008-04-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

Jonny Lang - Red LightYou sing a songWhile sitting at a red lightYou think of homeWhile sitting at a red lightToo slow to rollPut your life on holdAn open pathWith nowhere to goYou start to wonderWhile sitting at a red lightYou can run a red lightGive up at a red lightYou break the moldWhen running through the tollsSpeeding through your whole lifeA chance to breatheWhile sitting at a red lightYou

First thoughts on "the emerging church" (w/update)

2008-04-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

As my search for a church community continues I can't help but consider the emergent/emerging church. The questions is though, what is the emerging church??No really, what is the emergent/emerging church?It feels so ambiguous and trendy. Some people love it, other's hate it, but honestly I haven't really been able to pin down a good definition, and no one I've found seems to be willing to define,

Ready, set, go! No really, GO!

2008-04-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

"If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready, we shall never begin."- Ivan Turgenev, novelist, poet, playwrightI could probably write in metaphors for ages (as some of you know this first hand), or you know, I could just forget wandering aimlessly around the proverbial bush and get staight to the point. Like how I did that??I find myself, and a lot of the people I

Changing it up - work, church, summer and beyond

2008-04-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

crossposted from my facebook, so it's a little more filtered (so to speak) than this blog tends to be (different audience I suppose).Hmmm... how do I start this? (I guess I just did...)So yes, I'm going to be out of town for a couple of months. Why, you ask?Well, I'm making a few changes in my life. I realized about a month or so ago that where I am is not where I want to be. While I've been

say what you need to say

2008-03-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

Say by John MayerTake all of your wasted honor.Every little past frustration.Take all of your so called problems,Better put 'em in quotations.Say what you need to say (x8)Walkin' like a one man army,Fightin' with the shadows in your head.Livin' up the same old momentKnowin' you'd be better off insteadIf you could only...Say what you need to say (x8)Have no fear for givin' in.Have no fear for

Go

2008-02-13T09:06:00.000-08:00

I'm restless. I suppose I always have been. 4 years here, 4 years there. One summer doing this, one summer doing that. I figure it's just a matter of growing up on the move. England, Colorado, California and different places inbetween and during. Sometimes I wonder though, am I running from something, running from myself? At times it is clear to me, that I am avoiding something that God is trying

Lent struggles

2008-02-11T13:37:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday marked the beginning of Lent, a time of self-denial that symbolically parallels the 40 days and 40 nights that Jesus spent in the wilderness. The Lenton season ends Easter Sunday, the day we celebrate the resurection of Jesus.But back to the personal meaning of Lent and all this self denial talk. This year I didn't want to do what I have done in the past. One year I gave up TV,

troubleshooting life

2008-02-04T11:25:00.000-08:00

My friend Chris is amazing with computers. Much like a doctor with a disease, he looks at the symptoms and searches for the underlying cause. There are very few issues that he can't seem to fix. Granted there are the occasional miraculous computer recoveries that he can't take credit for. For example, my old ipod was pretty much dead, and I had come to accept this unfortunate event. However, I

bearing

2007-10-16T22:09:00.000-07:00

" As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one home when you were called - one Lord, one faith, on baptism; one God and

Peace

2007-10-15T23:16:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had the feeling that life is about to explode, that something has to give? People can only be pulled in so many directions for so long. I have to wonder, what's going to give, and what's going to follow. I have a sense of peace about it all though. It must be God, because, well let's just be honest, the only time I'm not overly stressed out is because someone else is more stressed

Sheep!

2007-09-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

My mom has many stories about me when I was little. Most parents do. As I have heard them, some more than others, my mind has warped stories with brief memories and infused them into a hybrid of what I heard and what I could remember. One particular story that I seem to remember whenever a topic near to it comes up, is about sheep and driving.When I was young, probably two or three, but no older

Great things

2007-08-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

I want to do great things. It's hard to sit still, and I don't do it very often, need I say often enough. I'm about to start a job that isn't my dream, and I wonder what God has in store for me. What is he preparing me for? After the earthquake in Peru and the mine mishap in Utah, I wonder. I am drawn to disaster, I am drawn to those who are hurting. It's hard to be where I am, mentally. I am

Thoughts on "Not for Sale"

2007-08-05T23:05:00.001-07:00

Faces of lostFaces of stolenFaces of enslavedBroken by the hand and mind of manStolen freedomSo uncomprehendibleWhat lies have we believed?To become so blindTo become so deafTo the pain and sufferingThat surrounds usWe live beside itBreathing. Praying. Pleading.For us to see, to hearWhy have we believed such lies?Not all can say they are not for sale

duality

2007-08-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

My mind has slowed down in the past hour, but today has been full of thoughts, dreams, wanderings, and a touch of anxiety (perhaps more of a temporary grasp caused by unknown reaches in Aardvark books).After a lazy and unfortunately early morning I finalized plans to meet Lauren at Civic Center and have a small City adventure. As usual I was running early/on-time and Lauren was running a little

Sober

2007-07-17T22:17:00.000-07:00

I am tired.No wait, I am at my tipping point, I have passed tired and I'm just running on the pure grace of God, which seems to be my frayed rescue rope. Well worn and stretched out, I don't know how long it can hold me up. It sounds almost silly to think that God's grace is wearing out, but in my head there is very little ability to grasp onto the grace that he has given me.

No poetic words today

2007-06-29T21:41:00.000-07:00

I don't think I can muster up the energy to be that creative. I've spent my energy on being a parent, mentor, disciplinarian, friend, confidant, assistant director, and house sitter this week. I'm done with energy! So today is a good ol' fashioned blog post. Emo post, if you wish.I had a talk with God this evening. It was pretty one sided. Like a venting fight with a good friend who just knows to

2007-06-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

Again I am left without words in my mind or on my tongue. It is so painful to see someone hurting and you can't think of what to do or say. Suddenly the moment is lost and any hope of connection seems to go as quickly as the first french fry in the bag. This is where God comes in. This is where I should trust that He knows what is best and that His will, in some way, is being done. I may not

Her numbness

2007-05-02T07:42:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been effected by the stories I have heard from other people. Not simply stories, but their stories, their pain. The undeniable humanness of their hurt caused by other people, that usually causes me to cry out to God in confusion and frustration. Why does this have to happen? Why does he allow us to hurt so much sometimes? The stories can be even more difficult if they touch a personal

Untitled

2007-04-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

I walked the city of oxfordIn beat with Ani DiFrancoLetting the words wash over me like the breeze that seemed to never endThe cotton like pollen of the trees tickled my noseLost in my thoughts of how strange it wasMy past colliding with my presentContemplating the would havesThe could havesThe life that wasn’t mineAnd the life that wasFor some reason Ani understood my plightSo I walked to the

In my Lane

2007-03-26T19:33:00.000-07:00

I feel that this post needs to have a disclaimer. It was an assignment of sorts. I was told to write a reflection on a book called "Love my Rifle More Than You" so I did and this is what came of it. Again, it's not my normal writing and it has some harsh language in it, but I felt it was important to share.In My Lane

When She didn't come home

2007-03-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

When she didn't come home I sat at the window waiting for the sound of her carI woke to every click of the doorEvery chiming of keysWhen she didn’t come home At first I held hopePerhaps tomorrowPerhaps next weekMaybe next monthWhen she didn’t come home No one gave me an answerShe’ll be by soonShe needs some timeShe’s getting cleanWhen

beauty in brokeness

2007-03-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

How beautiful it is to see your grace and mercyin our brokenness!In our vulnerability you provide clarityA paradox of beauty in our lowest,most broken moments.How perfect is your loveDisplayed in the single breath of finding joy in our trialsin the moment when we see just a glimpseOf the amazing plans you have for us

reflections during Youth Councils

2007-03-06T15:54:00.000-08:00

Even when it isn't coollet me fall on my knees and worship your nameEven when it isn't coollet me lift my handslet me dance at your throneLord, even when it isn't cool.Guard me from my pridelet me fall to my face in reckless abandonmentto give you my praiseto rest in your peaceHow do I show them that you are in their darkness? God you are there in their pain, in their hurt you hold them close. "

A missed goodbye

2007-01-09T20:48:00.000-08:00

I don't have much to say that would be profound this evening. Perhaps

That girl

2006-12-22T22:08:00.000-08:00

That girlShe walks into a roomBright eyesWarm smileShe has it all togetherShe is lovedShe is clamHer world doesn't seem to be melting beneith her feetOr perhaps it isIn the way that people feel her peaceThey see her loveThat girlShe walks in proud with a man by her sideShe prays at night after he falls to sleep by her sideThen dreams of a wedding in black and whiteHer heart on her sleeveHer life

Overwhelmed by grace

2006-12-12T22:57:00.000-08:00

Today, as I walked through the rain I realized something...While the rain may pour across this small rushed cityMy heart can find shelter in the overhangs of your graceYour grace that surpasses All that is spoken All that is done All that is thoughtSo, while the rain may dampen my hair and clothesIt reminds me of your grace that flows from the heavens to quench my

Making a decision

2006-12-01T23:55:00.000-08:00

There are many moments in life when you make the choice to put God first or others or even yourselfIt's a conscious decision, whether we want to admit it at the time or not.You feel it in your gut, and suddenly things of His nature start to hurtThey start to dig under your skinAt times it's hard to decipher one voice from anotherThe voice you want to hear, and the voice that won't be quietIn life

Sunday morning thoughts

2006-10-22T22:57:00.000-07:00

Oh, to be on my faceIn your sweet embraceTo surrender the worldTo find your peaceTo be wholly yoursOn my face, in your embrace

Puzzles

2006-09-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

Life is so unexpected, yet it all ends up fitting.When I was little my mom used to do puzzles. She had a few puzzles that had a picture on both sides of the piece, I think they were called the world's most difficult puzzles. They would be puzzels with the same picture on both sides, but turned 90 degrees. We would put them together on a glass table so we could look at both sides to make sure they

Not so poetic thoughts on distraction

2006-09-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

I am easily distracted. Just incase I haven't mentioned that before. I'm the type of person that can be distracted by a shiney object that hits the light in the right way (sometimes the wrong way too).Yet, I am not easily distracted when I am focused on a distraction. Go figure! This has caused issues in the past, and currently in the present.If I could draw an illustration it would be of me

A past note from my alter ego

2006-09-06T20:57:00.001-07:00

Why can faith in perfection be so flawed? My high expectations set for "Godly purpose" mentally raped of any value. Distored by the image of man fallen. My will versus His, when the winner is named I will be nursing my pride. Can't fall back on ignorance. High stress anxious worry. Be Still And Know That I Am God! Abba Father sill causes me to question His unconditional love for me.The words are

Sermon Notes from Last October

2006-09-06T20:57:00.000-07:00

To live like JesusTo live for JesusWhy can it feel so hard?Isn't it easier to live without the responsibility of being in control?Yet when we sacrifice our control it feels like we have so much more responsibility to do what is right!I feel like I need to be a perfect example of who I follow, and when I fall short of that I taint the image of whom I follow.I found this while I was unpacking a box

2006-09-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

I’ve never prayed that my past will fall into my futureBut, Lord, you know my heartI’ve realized that my summer has affected me more than I want to admit. I know I said it was hard coming back to the city but ‘hard’ doesn’t really describe the battle I’ve had to fight, both spiritually and mentally. I would wake up in the morning sad that I wasn’t in a sleeping bag. The first thing I would grab

sometime in mid July

2006-08-26T21:03:00.000-07:00

When I fall you pick me up,I can't do this on my ownand I'm beginning to understand that I am madeto fall and be picked back upMy pride does not belong tothe selfishness that so desires itLet my pride be only in youFor you made meNot to be prideful in the things I dobut in the amazing grace that you gave to me on the crossIt is not often that I consider you on the cross. Not that I don't talk

So I believe

2006-08-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

I fell through a hole that had no bottomWithout you I would have kept fallingYou grabbed my arm and vowed to never let goAll you asked is that I believeI was in no position to disagreeSo I believed You pulled me to solid groundGave me shelter from my internal stormHeld me as I criedSo I believedI believe in you because you pulled me through my painBecause you make everything for goodYou open my