Saturday, November 14, 2009

The prospect of moving

It is likely that I will be leaving San Francisco, my home of more than six years, in pursuit of further education. Though, cold and flat, Minneapolis, MN has one of the best programs for Youth Development at a Masters level. I spent the better part of this past week on the campus of the University of Minnesota speaking with professors, grad students, and other connected organization. I was desperate to find a flaw, anything that would send me running from the program or the state so I could justify not applying. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I was enamored by the program, the people, and the campus. Though it is cold and flat, Minneapolis is warmed with community and kindness.

Since coming home to my chilly room surrounded by loud and smelly teenage boys, I have kept myself busy researching possible grant money, and attempting to get a better understanding of the city that I might call home next fall. Beyond sharing a similar language of an urban city, I am under no disillusion that Minneapolis speaks the same dialect. I am desperate to understand the culture, and what breaths life into the midwest city. I am curious, and slightly dreamy eyed at the prospect of gathering new knowledge, and different perspectives.

Though, in all honesty I hold a lot of fear at moving away from what I know. My community, the family I have chosen to be part of, is here. I am supported, and cared for - in turn I support and care for them. We share a common language and though our passions are different they come from the same place.

I suppose it's a bit silly to be thinking of these things with almost a year in between here and there. Yet, it is in this moments, when a decision is being made, does the gravity of everything pull me into a deeper understanding of what I have and could walk away from.

Rarely do I have the joy of choosing between good and bad, true or false. Those kind of decisions are often more clear than the option between good and great.

1 comment:

Tina said...

Glad to hear your thoughts.