Just a quick thought
In my process of finding a church I have thrown out the term "church shopping" and replaced it with "dating the church." This came about as I was thinking about the heartache I am left with from my most recent past church. It didn't feel like I had merely lost a pair of my favorite pants, or even a sentimental object of my past. I lost a relationship with a community that I thought I was a part of. Actually, that I was a part of. Church, for me is much more about the relationships and sense of community I feel and build with people. Do I have an intimate relationship with the things that I shop for? No. And that's how I came to the idea of "dating the church." I'm looking for a community that I can commit to, and it can commit to me. This requires me to get to know the church and the community with in it. I get to learn what makes it tick, what it stands for, and even a bit about its weaknesses. The church, well the people in it, also get to know a bit about me.
As with dating people, it can be really difficult.