Monday, September 18, 2006


Life is so unexpected, yet it all ends up fitting.

When I was little my mom used to do puzzles. She had a few puzzles that had a picture on both sides of the piece, I think they were called the world's most difficult puzzles. They would be puzzels with the same picture on both sides, but turned 90 degrees. We would put them together on a glass table so we could look at both sides to make sure they matched.
It would always amaze me when we completed the puzzle because, in the beginning, it seemed so impossible. How could these 1000 pieces of cardboard so interically connect with each other to become this fantastic picture?
There is another puzzle that I made with my mom that I always think about. It's sitting in the spare room of my apartment because it doesn't seem to fit anywhere. This puzzle wasn't one that had a picture on both sides, but it was difficult. It had a black and white M.C. Escher drawing on it with lizards. When we were done with it we puzzel glued it together and mounted it and put it on her wall. I would stare at it in the morning if I slept in her room. One morning I noticed that, instead of two different coloured lizards there were three. I think it had taken me a year to notice that.

There are times in my life that I feel like my own personal world's most difficult puzzle. There is so much going on and I can't get the full picture until I fnish it and look back. With in that, there are pieces of the puzzle that I just have to set aside until I can find the right place for them. Those pieces are the pieces that don't make sense. I know they are there for a reason and that they fit somewhere I just don't have a specific place yet.

There are also times that my life becomes the Escher puzzle that sat on my mom's bedroom wall. I could stare at it for hours on end and still miss half of what is drawn. It could be a permenant memory that sits with me and until I look at it in the right way I'm not going to be able to see the whole picture with all the details.

I don't know why a lot of things are happening, or what I've learned from certain experiences. There are also pieces of my life that I'm not sure what to do with because they don't seem to fit. I'm ok with not knowing where everything goes (usually), and there are always going to be times that I try and jam something in the wrong spot.

I was just thinking about it this evening.

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